Hello Hello Everyone! Thank you for all the lovely and supportive emails, they mean so much to me. I especially love reading your own stories and experiences with weight loss. Often times on my hikes, when I am alone with my thoughts, I am reminded by your stories that I am not alone, and it is so incredibly comforting, so thank you again.
It was a good week. I had two little break throughs that in all honesty, have so much significance to where I am in my life right now. First, my weigh in on friday revealed that I lost 3 pounds since my last weigh in 2 Fridays ago, so I'm at 182. The reason why this is such a big deal to me is that for the longest time I was never able to pass the 185 mark - it was as if it was the exact place where I would start to sabatoge myself. But this time I didn't. I broke through that wall!! I still can't believe it. I have to remind myself tht it's true and to BELIEVE IT! I am getting more and more motivated to break through the next wall and the one after that.
My second little break through was this. Three to four times a week I jog 3 miles on a treadmill which takes me about 40-45 minutes. What I do is a 7 minute warm up, then I start my jog and do that for about 10 minutes or so. Then I slow down the pace and increase the incline so as if Im jogging on a hill. I do that for 5-10 minutes and then I just go back and forth with the incline.
OK, this past Saturday, I did this exact routine for 5 big fat miles! I dont even know what happend. I was feeling good and energized and I said, Nama keep jogging until you get to 4 miles and then stop. Well, 4 miles came and went and I kept going until I reached 5 miles. It took me 73 minutes and let me just say it felt great. I mean, it wasnt easy by any means, but I could feel during my jog that my body was feeling strong and energized. And I tribute that to eating clean and healthy for the most part and I believe that my mental attitude also gave me the energy I needed to sustain those 5 miles. I've realized that my thoughts shape my failures and successes. So, I try to have positive thoughts, peaceful thoughts about this process, because its hard, so hard on some days and truthfully sometimes I just want to quit. But I don't.. When my mind is strong, my body is strong.
OK, some of you emailed me asking about my excercise regimine and I am happy to share with you exactly what I do. Friday is the one day I have off - it is my holy day, ah ha! So by the time it rolls around I am so tired and happy to give my body the rest that it needs.
Alright, Mon and Wed I do a one hour Cardio Barre class in the morning. Also Mon and Wed in the evenings my husband and I hike for 70 min, actually its a walk but because its all hills, I consider it a hike. Tue, Thur, and Sat I jog 4-5 miles in the morning and then in the afternoons, I do that 70 min hike/walk. Sunday is the only day I do just one workout which is the 70 minute hike/walk. So, thats it. It may sound like a lot to some, but I truly enjoy these workouts and it is because of all that excercise that I am able to see changes in my body. What I love most though is that I feel strong, I feel good. Dont get me wrong, I have such a long way to go and I have my bad days and when they are bad, they are just really, really bad. I embrace those bad days, I acknowledge them and move on. This is too important for me to give up on. Alright, so total weight loss so far has been 45 pounds. Phew! My goal is 50 more pounds give ro take. But my next small goal is to be under 180. I havent been in the 170's in about 20 years! This is another wall to break through. Wish me luck.. Thank you again for taking time to read my blog. Its been so theraputic for me on so many levels. I've enjoyed so much hearing from you. Please keep writing! Please!!! Have a great week...
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Grateful for good friends
Although I have just begun this blog business, I wanted to take a minute to thank some people for their love and support. Cindy, Kimmie, Heather, Violet Rose, Ananda, Katie, and anyone who takes the time to read my blog. THANK YOU!!! Most importantly, to my husband Robbie - you have been instrumental throughout this crazy process, with all my ups and downs. You have seen me through it all and have been so loving and gentle with me. I love you for standing by me through thick and thin, and hopefully there will be many more thin days, ah ha!!
To my friends - you guys are amazing and your words are truly beautiful, inspiring, and so kind! I am grateful that you took the time to not only read my blog, but to understand it in such a way that you know my heart and my genuine attempt to resolve this issue that has weighed so heavily on me over the years!!! Thank you so much for the love and kindness you have shown me. Your support means the world to me. I love you each of you with all my heart...
So, this week has been great so far. I'm learning to settle my thoughts down and just RELAX. I find that when I do that, my days and my eating habits seem so effortless. Honestly, it's the best feeling ever when you let go and just be! I tend to over think every little thing I put in my mouth. There are days when I am afraid to eat, I mean I will eat but not much. I know this is wrong and I know that my body needs food because that is my fuel, to sustain not just my workouts but my mind. I find that because I excercise a lot, the more I eat and when I say eat, I mean healthy choices, the more weight I loose. It's really that simple. I read this years ago in an article written by a nutritionist/trainer. He was saying how when people want to loose weight, they focus mostly on their workouts. Some feel like because thye work out it gives them permission to eat WHATEVER! And when people do that, they will see little to no results in their bodies. Others will not eat enough, therefore their bodies hold on to the fat for dear life because the body thinks were fasting or in starvation mode.. He was saying how smart our mind is, it knows when were dieting, but all we need to do is be smarter and trick the mind into thinking were not trying to loose weight, but still workout and eat accordingly!
I've read many books on the subject, too many to count. Most have been helpful, each in their own way. But I've learned that simplicity is key. I don't count calories, but I keep an eye on them, I dont just eat proteins while avoiding carbs, I eat everything in moderation. For me personally, carbs is my weakness. Bread especially. As far as carbs go, I've definitely had to reduce the amount of carbs I eat because Im completely addicted to them and I always feel over stuffed and happy afterwards, Ah ha! I will never cut out carbs completely because I think we still need it for fuel and energy. Thats been my biggest challenge, I swear.. So, these days I'm trying to relax and ease into everything. I buy these fiber blueberry and banana muffins and yes I will sometimes cut one in half and have it as a snack. That way, I dont feel so deprived.
OK, Im shaking as I write this..As far as the scale goes, at one time I was 230 pounds. I set small goals for myself which seemd more attainable to me than one big goal. I do have number in mind for my big goal but I am not focusing on that. So, everytime I reached a goal weight, like loosing10 pounds or sometimes 5 pounds, I'd allow myself a small treat, a real freaking treat. For example, I love eclairs, my favorite desserts ever. Two weeks ago I was at 185, the lowest I've been in a very long time (15 years) and this is when I start to sabatoge myself and slowly gain it all back. So, this is an important time for me because I must break this cycle. Alright, my next goal weight is 180, and after that its 175 - holy freaking sh*t balls! It doesn't seem real.. I'm so excited and so scared.
I gotta say, I am really enjoying the process, and when I get frusterated I DONT enjoy it so much :) I am appreciative because this process is so hard and it's teaching me a lot of valuable things about my strength and patience. Of course I want to see those numbers go down, but today, right now, I am in a good place. Tomorrow could be a different story, ah ha.
Till the next time, thank you for reading. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments.
To my friends - you guys are amazing and your words are truly beautiful, inspiring, and so kind! I am grateful that you took the time to not only read my blog, but to understand it in such a way that you know my heart and my genuine attempt to resolve this issue that has weighed so heavily on me over the years!!! Thank you so much for the love and kindness you have shown me. Your support means the world to me. I love you each of you with all my heart...
So, this week has been great so far. I'm learning to settle my thoughts down and just RELAX. I find that when I do that, my days and my eating habits seem so effortless. Honestly, it's the best feeling ever when you let go and just be! I tend to over think every little thing I put in my mouth. There are days when I am afraid to eat, I mean I will eat but not much. I know this is wrong and I know that my body needs food because that is my fuel, to sustain not just my workouts but my mind. I find that because I excercise a lot, the more I eat and when I say eat, I mean healthy choices, the more weight I loose. It's really that simple. I read this years ago in an article written by a nutritionist/trainer. He was saying how when people want to loose weight, they focus mostly on their workouts. Some feel like because thye work out it gives them permission to eat WHATEVER! And when people do that, they will see little to no results in their bodies. Others will not eat enough, therefore their bodies hold on to the fat for dear life because the body thinks were fasting or in starvation mode.. He was saying how smart our mind is, it knows when were dieting, but all we need to do is be smarter and trick the mind into thinking were not trying to loose weight, but still workout and eat accordingly!
I've read many books on the subject, too many to count. Most have been helpful, each in their own way. But I've learned that simplicity is key. I don't count calories, but I keep an eye on them, I dont just eat proteins while avoiding carbs, I eat everything in moderation. For me personally, carbs is my weakness. Bread especially. As far as carbs go, I've definitely had to reduce the amount of carbs I eat because Im completely addicted to them and I always feel over stuffed and happy afterwards, Ah ha! I will never cut out carbs completely because I think we still need it for fuel and energy. Thats been my biggest challenge, I swear.. So, these days I'm trying to relax and ease into everything. I buy these fiber blueberry and banana muffins and yes I will sometimes cut one in half and have it as a snack. That way, I dont feel so deprived.
OK, Im shaking as I write this..As far as the scale goes, at one time I was 230 pounds. I set small goals for myself which seemd more attainable to me than one big goal. I do have number in mind for my big goal but I am not focusing on that. So, everytime I reached a goal weight, like loosing10 pounds or sometimes 5 pounds, I'd allow myself a small treat, a real freaking treat. For example, I love eclairs, my favorite desserts ever. Two weeks ago I was at 185, the lowest I've been in a very long time (15 years) and this is when I start to sabatoge myself and slowly gain it all back. So, this is an important time for me because I must break this cycle. Alright, my next goal weight is 180, and after that its 175 - holy freaking sh*t balls! It doesn't seem real.. I'm so excited and so scared.
I gotta say, I am really enjoying the process, and when I get frusterated I DONT enjoy it so much :) I am appreciative because this process is so hard and it's teaching me a lot of valuable things about my strength and patience. Of course I want to see those numbers go down, but today, right now, I am in a good place. Tomorrow could be a different story, ah ha.
Till the next time, thank you for reading. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Baby steps
Hello All,
OK, I've never done this before. I am really private so it's a big deal that I have started a blog about my weight loss, Yikes.. I think, no I know this could be really good for me. This is not just a journey of weight loss, but a journey of the mind, of the heart, of my strength, of my perseverence, and of my patience. Of course, weight loss could not come fast enough for me, ah ha. My journey started many years ago, I can't even remember when, but it's one I am very familiar with. I have started many times, struggled, had some success, and gave up too many times to count. This is such a personal and difficult subject for me to talk about because there's a lot of shame, fear, and pain involved. And today, I am so tired, so sick and tired of starting and failing.
From the time I got married 8 years ago, I had lost 30 pounds and managed to keep that off for a while. Then I gained 10 pounds and have struggled to loose those 10 pounds and the remaining 60-70 pounds. I started my very last attempt at this loosing weight business and getting fit 3 short months ago. To date, I've lost 25 pounds and I am at my lowest weight since 17 years ago. But lord knows, this is just the begining. It's really been a lifelong struggle. Lucky for me I've always loved to excercise, it has been my G-D send! My problem has always been the food part, which just happens to be the most important part. Experts say that weight loss is 10% excercise, 10% genetics, and 80% food intake!Let me be very clear I love food, I love to cook food and I especially love to eat it. ah h Eating right can be so challenging at times. But I just need to be mindful of the choices I make because they are not always good choices or healthy choices.
So many times I just want to give up. This is so damn hard. I work so hard, I excercise 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day, not because I'm obsessed, but because I genuinely love to excercise. It's a great outlet, it makes me feel strong not just physcially but mentally, and it's fun! I feel so alive and happy after I've worked out. I've realized over the years that I am my worst enemy and harshest critic. I weigh myself every 3 weeks and at my last weigh in, I lost 2 pounds. Only 2 crappy pounds, ah ha. I know, I know, I should be happy that I lost weight, and I was, sordove. I worked so hard those 3 weeks and I was hoping for 5 or 6 pounds. It really upset and frusterated me. I went to bed that night and realized that I was working against myself with all these not so positive thoughts. I am genuinely a happy optimistic person but when it comes to my weight loss, I'm very, very hard on myself. I started to examine my diet portion of the previous 3 weeks and realized it wasn't so perfect. It wasn't bad, but not where it should have been. There were days where I didn't eat enough calories to sustain all the calories I was burning and I felt my body literally work against me. I should know better. I need to eat right not just to loose weight, but to keep me energized and ready for my workouts. Then of course there were days when I ate things I shouldnt have eaten. But still, I think I worked out so, so much that it shouldnt have mattered that I had some bad days. Then, I told myself to shut up and be grateful that I lost 2 pounds :)!!!
So, as you can see, I definitely have my moments.. I don't take myself too seriously and I laugh at myself often because I have to. Thanksgiving wasn't too bad but I did allow myself a few free days. And yes I felt horrible but I kept up with my workouts which helped a little.. Tomorrow is a new week and Im hopeful. My weigh in is this Friday, so we'll see. I know it isn'y just about the numbers, but it is.. It isnt as if I need to loose 10 pounds ya know? This is about a lot of weight and I need to OWN those numbers. Its important to me that I embrace my weight and accept the numbers I see on that damn scale, but not be controlled by it. I'm sensible enough to know about muscle weighing more than fat and that sometimes I will gain muscle and not loose weight - and I'm cool with that. But I'm even cooler when I see the numbers on the scale going down and my jeans becoming a tad looser. Since my goal is to loose another 50 pounds, I figure 7-8 months is plenty of time to accomplish that goal. I'm hoping I can do it sooner without killing myself. I've honestly never been this consistent and I've told myself every morning when I wake up ONE DAY AT A TIME!!! here I go, baby steps.. Easy, easy.. Be kind and gentle with yourself Nama...I'll blog sometime in the next week.. So, I wish everyone a great week, a successful week, and a productive week!
OK, I've never done this before. I am really private so it's a big deal that I have started a blog about my weight loss, Yikes.. I think, no I know this could be really good for me. This is not just a journey of weight loss, but a journey of the mind, of the heart, of my strength, of my perseverence, and of my patience. Of course, weight loss could not come fast enough for me, ah ha. My journey started many years ago, I can't even remember when, but it's one I am very familiar with. I have started many times, struggled, had some success, and gave up too many times to count. This is such a personal and difficult subject for me to talk about because there's a lot of shame, fear, and pain involved. And today, I am so tired, so sick and tired of starting and failing.
From the time I got married 8 years ago, I had lost 30 pounds and managed to keep that off for a while. Then I gained 10 pounds and have struggled to loose those 10 pounds and the remaining 60-70 pounds. I started my very last attempt at this loosing weight business and getting fit 3 short months ago. To date, I've lost 25 pounds and I am at my lowest weight since 17 years ago. But lord knows, this is just the begining. It's really been a lifelong struggle. Lucky for me I've always loved to excercise, it has been my G-D send! My problem has always been the food part, which just happens to be the most important part. Experts say that weight loss is 10% excercise, 10% genetics, and 80% food intake!Let me be very clear I love food, I love to cook food and I especially love to eat it. ah h Eating right can be so challenging at times. But I just need to be mindful of the choices I make because they are not always good choices or healthy choices.
So many times I just want to give up. This is so damn hard. I work so hard, I excercise 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day, not because I'm obsessed, but because I genuinely love to excercise. It's a great outlet, it makes me feel strong not just physcially but mentally, and it's fun! I feel so alive and happy after I've worked out. I've realized over the years that I am my worst enemy and harshest critic. I weigh myself every 3 weeks and at my last weigh in, I lost 2 pounds. Only 2 crappy pounds, ah ha. I know, I know, I should be happy that I lost weight, and I was, sordove. I worked so hard those 3 weeks and I was hoping for 5 or 6 pounds. It really upset and frusterated me. I went to bed that night and realized that I was working against myself with all these not so positive thoughts. I am genuinely a happy optimistic person but when it comes to my weight loss, I'm very, very hard on myself. I started to examine my diet portion of the previous 3 weeks and realized it wasn't so perfect. It wasn't bad, but not where it should have been. There were days where I didn't eat enough calories to sustain all the calories I was burning and I felt my body literally work against me. I should know better. I need to eat right not just to loose weight, but to keep me energized and ready for my workouts. Then of course there were days when I ate things I shouldnt have eaten. But still, I think I worked out so, so much that it shouldnt have mattered that I had some bad days. Then, I told myself to shut up and be grateful that I lost 2 pounds :)!!!
So, as you can see, I definitely have my moments.. I don't take myself too seriously and I laugh at myself often because I have to. Thanksgiving wasn't too bad but I did allow myself a few free days. And yes I felt horrible but I kept up with my workouts which helped a little.. Tomorrow is a new week and Im hopeful. My weigh in is this Friday, so we'll see. I know it isn'y just about the numbers, but it is.. It isnt as if I need to loose 10 pounds ya know? This is about a lot of weight and I need to OWN those numbers. Its important to me that I embrace my weight and accept the numbers I see on that damn scale, but not be controlled by it. I'm sensible enough to know about muscle weighing more than fat and that sometimes I will gain muscle and not loose weight - and I'm cool with that. But I'm even cooler when I see the numbers on the scale going down and my jeans becoming a tad looser. Since my goal is to loose another 50 pounds, I figure 7-8 months is plenty of time to accomplish that goal. I'm hoping I can do it sooner without killing myself. I've honestly never been this consistent and I've told myself every morning when I wake up ONE DAY AT A TIME!!! here I go, baby steps.. Easy, easy.. Be kind and gentle with yourself Nama...I'll blog sometime in the next week.. So, I wish everyone a great week, a successful week, and a productive week!
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