Although I have just begun this blog business, I wanted to take a minute to thank some people for their love and support. Cindy, Kimmie, Heather, Violet Rose, Ananda, Katie, and anyone who takes the time to read my blog. THANK YOU!!! Most importantly, to my husband Robbie - you have been instrumental throughout this crazy process, with all my ups and downs. You have seen me through it all and have been so loving and gentle with me. I love you for standing by me through thick and thin, and hopefully there will be many more thin days, ah ha!!
To my friends - you guys are amazing and your words are truly beautiful, inspiring, and so kind! I am grateful that you took the time to not only read my blog, but to understand it in such a way that you know my heart and my genuine attempt to resolve this issue that has weighed so heavily on me over the years!!! Thank you so much for the love and kindness you have shown me. Your support means the world to me. I love you each of you with all my heart...
So, this week has been great so far. I'm learning to settle my thoughts down and just RELAX. I find that when I do that, my days and my eating habits seem so effortless. Honestly, it's the best feeling ever when you let go and just be! I tend to over think every little thing I put in my mouth. There are days when I am afraid to eat, I mean I will eat but not much. I know this is wrong and I know that my body needs food because that is my fuel, to sustain not just my workouts but my mind. I find that because I excercise a lot, the more I eat and when I say eat, I mean healthy choices, the more weight I loose. It's really that simple. I read this years ago in an article written by a nutritionist/trainer. He was saying how when people want to loose weight, they focus mostly on their workouts. Some feel like because thye work out it gives them permission to eat WHATEVER! And when people do that, they will see little to no results in their bodies. Others will not eat enough, therefore their bodies hold on to the fat for dear life because the body thinks were fasting or in starvation mode.. He was saying how smart our mind is, it knows when were dieting, but all we need to do is be smarter and trick the mind into thinking were not trying to loose weight, but still workout and eat accordingly!
I've read many books on the subject, too many to count. Most have been helpful, each in their own way. But I've learned that simplicity is key. I don't count calories, but I keep an eye on them, I dont just eat proteins while avoiding carbs, I eat everything in moderation. For me personally, carbs is my weakness. Bread especially. As far as carbs go, I've definitely had to reduce the amount of carbs I eat because Im completely addicted to them and I always feel over stuffed and happy afterwards, Ah ha! I will never cut out carbs completely because I think we still need it for fuel and energy. Thats been my biggest challenge, I swear.. So, these days I'm trying to relax and ease into everything. I buy these fiber blueberry and banana muffins and yes I will sometimes cut one in half and have it as a snack. That way, I dont feel so deprived.
OK, Im shaking as I write this..As far as the scale goes, at one time I was 230 pounds. I set small goals for myself which seemd more attainable to me than one big goal. I do have number in mind for my big goal but I am not focusing on that. So, everytime I reached a goal weight, like loosing10 pounds or sometimes 5 pounds, I'd allow myself a small treat, a real freaking treat. For example, I love eclairs, my favorite desserts ever. Two weeks ago I was at 185, the lowest I've been in a very long time (15 years) and this is when I start to sabatoge myself and slowly gain it all back. So, this is an important time for me because I must break this cycle. Alright, my next goal weight is 180, and after that its 175 - holy freaking sh*t balls! It doesn't seem real.. I'm so excited and so scared.
I gotta say, I am really enjoying the process, and when I get frusterated I DONT enjoy it so much :) I am appreciative because this process is so hard and it's teaching me a lot of valuable things about my strength and patience. Of course I want to see those numbers go down, but today, right now, I am in a good place. Tomorrow could be a different story, ah ha.
Till the next time, thank you for reading. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments.
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